“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere” – Frank Sinatra

Many who have had the privilege of visiting New York City have felt what I call “The New York Moment”. In my experience, it’s that moment when I am surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city and my mind escapes from the chaos, as if I were tucked into a glass box, to truly admire my surroundings. Within that moment, I pay closer attention to the way the sun shines over the skyscrapers, how the chaos seems to have order and everyone is welcome to be whoever they want to be. There is a homeless guy yelling at a street sign, a melody of honking cars holding frustrated passengers, some guy just shoved past me without apology but none of this ruins the moment. I appreciate the stories being told by the architecture and I observe the melting pot of people from all over the world who all have one common ambitious drive, to “make it here” so they can “make it anywhere”. The result is an infectious smile of appreciation for my ability to experience a culture like no other, the culture of a New Yorker. It’s a place where five horrible days in Manhattan can quickly be forgotten with just one good day, because that day will be one of the best days of your life. 

Many years ago, I had the pleasure of experiencing my first New York moment. At the age of nineteen, I left my family and friends in South Africa and traveled to the United States to be an Au Pair. When I graduated from high school I decided to participate in the cultural exchange program because I had no idea what I wanted to study, what I was good at, or what I wanted from life. Of course, now I understand how normal that actually is but I felt completely lost, “How does everyone else know exactly what it is they want from life? How did my parents know what to do with their lives? How will I ever figure out what I want?” I would later come to learn, now almost twenty nine and somewhat less clueless, that even those who appeared to have it all figured out were asking themselves the same questions.

By the grace and kindness of my American host family, who offered to sponsor my studies New York, I pursued my tertiary education in the United States. I will never forget the first day I walked through the doors of the Newman Vertical Campus on Lexington avenue, I was bursting with motivation. The greatest benefit of all was the fact that I got to travel into Manhattan, feel my “New York Moment” and live like a New Yorker everyday. I majored in International Marketing, a concept I first discovered when reading an article about how the Oreo cookie was marketed to countries in Asia. Asian tastes tend to be less sweet in comparison to America, so the Oreo sold in Japan is actually quite bitter to an American. Thinking back, it’s strange that the product adjustment of an Oreo cookie inspired my tertiary education investment. I was spot on, I truly enjoyed the four years I spent at Baruch and I was genuinely interested in the subject matter.

Then the question that plagued me after high school came once again, I graduated, so what now? How did I spend years traveling through America and Europe, studying new and complex topics and meet so many smart and influential people, to still not be able to answer that question? The Oreo cookie was no longer inspiring and 4 years of being invested in marketing, politics, communications, international relations, finance and economics just made me into a more informed individual. The world became a much more complex place and I felt a deeper level of internal conflict. All of a sudden I wanted to solve bigger problems and my ambitions evolved into goals that seemed impossible to achieve. I even considered going to law school, because that’s what people who want to make a difference do right? This all sounds like a positive thing, and honestly it is, but the problem was that I was just more educated but no closer to having it all “figured out”.

Alas, a girl has got to shop and eat, so after months of hunting, I took a job with a marketing agency in Long Island. I had a love-hate relationship with it, the work was interesting and funny enough had a legal element to it. I dove right in, head first, ready to make the most out of it. Unfortunately, I had a boss who could demotivate a cheerful puppy, literally, we had an office dog and he was not a fan of her. She managed to fake smile enough to make you fake smile back. She lost her passion for her job long before I got there and unfortunately demotivated her employees to a point of not caring. I convinced myself that I needed to pay my dues, suck it up and that eventually it would be all worth it. I felt myself slip into a state where I was constantly stressed, negative and just always in a bad mood. A glass of wine to recover from a rough day was turning into half a bottle… ok fine, sometimes the whole bottle. In order for me to continue living the New York dream I would need to be sponsored for a job that was slowly eating away at my morale. In addition, there was the added pressure of staying in a country that seemed to be adopting an immigration stance that would not work in my favour. I had an incredibly difficult choice to make. By this time, I had been living in New York for eight years so leaving meant giving up so much more than a city. I had friends and family who I cared for a great deal, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and this city was my new home.

It was around this time that another life-changing decision was made. I was driving to work one morning, contemplating whether or not it would be ethical to spike my morning coffee to cope with my day. I had a slight panic attack in that moment because I realized that I was allowing myself to live a life I clearly didn’t want. Soon continuing to live this life would lead to a serious alcohol addiction! My new addiction would cause me to lose my job along with my self respect. I would end up drinking more, sleeping around and chasing cheap thrills, eventually finding myself broke and pregnant on a park bench. I would be enjoying my “New York Moment” with the homeless guy who will soon convince me that I have a bone to pick with the street sign. I reached my pinnacle point of overthinking, which I often do, because this would never actually happen. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a bad life, I was very lucky to have all the opportunities I had and I had the most incredible people in my corner cheering me on. The point is not that I had the worst circumstances, it is that I was simply ready for a change and I wasn’t even aware of that fact.

Change is terrifying! Fear of the unknown is a valid fear, you’re rolling the dice on whether or not a risk will lead to reward, but the universe was constantly communicating with me. What I thought was the universe throwing subtle clues my way, I now understand was my subconscious communicating what I wanted, I was just too scared to admit it. Admitting that I was ready for a new adventure meant that I would need to act, start putting effort into what could end up being a failure. I could either stay in my safety zone in New York and go back to school, get a masters degree, buy myself more time and this would not have been a bad route to explore but it wasn’t what I wanted. The first time I chose to stay in New York to study, I did so without hesitation. I decided to be brave, be true to my ambitious heart and wander into the unknown.

Cue the Australian Adventure!